It’s hard to face failure in yourself. All the should haves, could haves and intentions are not enough to dull the pain of what could have been. But life is full of blunders, misteps and just downright stupidity that sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself and forgive yourself. Just like God has forgiven you. There will always be those lingering thoughts and sometimes downright pain of consequences but move on. Do better next time. God can use your blunders to His glory. You may not see them yet but they will be magnified in His time.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28 ESV